Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries, & The Rest of Us

In case you haven’t heard (how did you escape it?), Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting a divorce. Yes, it had been just 72 days since the multi-million dollar wedding, but Kim has submitted the divorce papers. Some people are wondering if it wasn’t some huge publicity stunt, but I don’t think it was. I think it was a real wedding (grant it, played up for TV) and marriage that fell apart in the ‘real world’ (as real as theirs could be).

Even more so, I think it illustrates just how little we as people think of marriage…
even how little we think of committment as a whole.

We all know the numbers that more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
Even more than 50% of all Christian marriages end in divorce.

The problem?

We see nothing as ‘permanent’ anymore. We seldom make a full commitment to anything… think about it…

  • We have trouble committing to a 2 year cell phone contract.
  • We have trouble committing to a 30 year mortgage.
  • We have trouble committing to a contract at our work.
  • We have trouble committing to graduate.
  • We have trouble committing to volunteering.
  • We have trouble committing to marriage.
  • We have trouble committing to Christ.

Seriously.

We’ve created a culture (both inside and outside of the Christian culture) that’s afraid of committment… that may not even believe that committment is ever necessary. We can just come and go as we please and leave someone else with the mess.

The result?

A lack of values, a lack of real progress, and a lack of impacting our world.

What do you think? Why are we afraid of and not very good at commitment?

22 Comments

  1. While eating and waiting for NCIS to come on last night, my wife was watching ET. I bet 1/2 of the 1/2 hour show was spent on this. Sad that our values are so skewed. You make a good point JP about the lack of commitment we face as a culture, as a church, as Christ-followers. The answer? Hmmmm.

    Reply
    1. Yeah Bill. I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t think it’s horrible in many circumstances, but our commitment to marriage, to family, and to Christ have to be kept and nurtured. Thanks for commenting. Good to hear from you!

      Reply
  2. I wonder if we tie commitment to a fear of missing out on something. It’s almost like, if I commit to this…and something better comes along…I will have missed it. Better to just “play around” with this and keep my options open…just in case.

    Reply
  3. Darrell Childress

    Maybe part of our problem with sticking to commitments is our initial motive for making that commitment wasn’t pure. It was something we entered,expecting to reap benefit from, but when the immediate benefit stops, we discard it for something else that will fulfill our ego or our wallet or our self-esteem.
    Life (and commitment) is about the long haul, the good with the bad, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, the valleys and peaks, the triumphs and the trials.
    I agree with Ja also, we’re afraid that if we commit, we’ll miss the next one, and it might be better than the one we’ve already got.

    Reply
  4. “Maybe part of our problem with sticking to commitments is our initial motive for making that commitment wasn’t pure.” Think you may have nailed it. Thanks, Darrell. Let’s see if anyone sees this as well.

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  5. I would say we as a whole definitely are afraid of commitment, but I think it stems from the fact that we have been committed to things in the past that either other people weren’t or ended up abusing that commitment for their own gain. I know right now, I’m still hesitant to fully commit to a church due to my commitment at my former church being taken advantage of to the extreme.

    I don’t make commitments easily, but when I do, I’m all in.

    Reply
    1. Good point, Jason. I think a lot of people aren’t like you though. We’ll make half hearted and voiced commitments but won’t be all in. I agree, we have to be cautious though. There are a lot of situation where people want a commitment for just THEIR benefit, not everyones. Thanks man!

      Reply
  6. Russell Anderson

    We live in an age that makes it so easy to think that we know someone that we really don’t. Pen pals used to fall in love and long distance relationships used to be costly. People have always fallen in love “at first site” but now we are in an age where, if we can ‘friend them’, we can find out all about them (well at least find out all the good stuff they want people to know about) and they may not know we exist.
    We are searching for the fairytale. Kim and Kris had it. But it sounds like that is all they had. What are we chasing? God’s love, a real love, is what we are chasing but the problem is we don’t realize it. I personally chased it for years, then thought I would find it in marriage… It was only when I put God before myself, my wife and my marriage that he was able to show me His love within it. Now as I continue to pursue God he continues to reveal his glories around it. If we do not understand God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness we will never understand marriage and what it can be.

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  7. Impure motives is a spot on. But also I’d say we’re a lazy culture unwilling to work at things. Marriage isn’t suppose to be easy! Everyday we should commit to loving our spouse and serving them. Many of us don’t do this, myself included. So, we go through the motions and get distracted. And there’s the other real issue with commitments. We as a culture have so many distractions and things that steal our attention…and we lose focus.

    Lord Jesus, please cleanse our hearts and motives. Please give us discernment on priorities and sumplifing our lives. And please, Father God, help us focus in others by being a servant each day. Amen!

    Reply
  8. I think we are not committed people because we don’t understand and recognize how committed God is to us. We don’t on a day to day basis understand fully God’s commitment to us in Jesus. How much he loves us, how much he gave for us to be redeemed, and how much he commits to us. When we commit to God it is based on his commitment to us through the cross and resurrection of Jesus. If we understood the love of God, the grace extended to us in Christ, and how much he puts on the line for us, then we would be able to not only give that back to God, but extend it to others. And even when people fail in their commitments to us, God will never fail in his loving commitment to us through his son Jesus. We need to see more clearly the loving commitment of our God, and then we could extend it to others.

    Reply
    1. “I think we are not committed people because we don’t understand and recognize how committed God is to us.” Well said. You’re definitely on to something! Thanks so much for sharing, Clay!

      Reply
  9. JP… You’re quite accurate with your initial comments regarding “COMMITMENT!” It rruly does seem that the world keeps hitting the glass ceiling of commitment from the fear of being forced to own the results of what commitment brings to your life. Commitment to your beliefs is What Matters Most! Once you’ve stepped out with a leap of faith and COMMIT-TO-BELIEVE in the process you’ve aligned with to achieve your goals is then discernable. The ultimate reward of taking the ride of life’s embrace and then facing life head on to persevere against all odds – becomes that very point in time we need to own – 100% – to totally understand COMMITMENT!

    Kris Humphries as an athlete should have known better than to entangle his life with someone who is more about the glitter and glam than with the true substance of life and a COMMITTED faith! This is yet another sad reminder surrounding the influence held by our darker egos for attention or “Hey! Look at me!! Be like me!!” There’s only 1 true commitment we can ever own to own a truly happy life. It’s time to jump into the mirror of life so you’re able to look back unobscured by your own shadow to discover the “truth” about who you are at the core of a beating heart. Blessings…..

    Reply
    1. First off, I love that you’re name is Kevin James (love his movies). Secondly, you make a good point, professional athletes should know commitment and how to make good choices. Its how they became a pro athlete in the first place. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!!

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  10. You’re right… “We see nothing as permanent anymore.” Even I’m guilty of that in life… switching jobs, cars and apartments on a whim. I want to be more like my grandparents… content with simply staying still. Maybe then I’ll be married for 62 years like them. Great post!

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  11. Nola Howe

    Good point, Jason. Better to just “play around” with this and keep my options open…just in case. We’ve become unwilling to work things out. I agree with Ja also, we’re afraid that if we commit, we’ll miss the next one, and it might be better than the one we’ve already got.

    Reply
  12. Gabrielle Larson

    I’m very guilty myself. I don’t think it’s horrible in many circumstances, but our commitment to marriage, to family, and to Christ have to be kept and nurtured. We need to see more clearly the loving commitment of our God, and then we could extend it to others.

    Reply

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