I’m a young guy. I’ve been married for a little over 7 years. My son is just 21 months old (when do we quit counting months?). Over the last couple of years, though, I’ve learned some things about being a husband, father, and leader. Much of it is taught by the good people I’ve had the privilege to learn from over the years and some of it is through good ole trial and error.

I’m still learning, but here are 3 things I’ve found that will help you lead your family better…

Lead yourself

It seems simple, but lead yourself well. This means you take responsibility for your actions. You make responsible choices. You find ways to fill yourself with energy so you can give to your family. It means when you have to find a way to take care of something the wife usually does, you do it. It means you hold down a job. It means you lead… yourself. If you can’t lead yourself to a growing and sustainable life, you can’t lead your family.

Remember your spouse

The temptation, for many, is to abandon your spouse when you have that first child. After all, it’s an all consuming, scary, and fantastic journey. What do we most often sacrifice because we don’t have the energy or the money? Our spouse.

Be intentional with it. I’m not even calling for a night out a week or anything… for some, that’s just not doable. I’m talking you make time to talk, communicate, be intimate, and talk about how you feel. If you’re like us, you’re feeling all kind of new things with young kids (mostly exhaustion), it’s important you talk through those things and are open about them. Remember, your spouse was there first.

Stay consistent but find time to change it up

Kids need routine. Life needs consistency. It’s really the only way things change and things improve. Be consistent with parenting, discipline, and even schedules. However, don’t let the schedule control you. Don’t sacrifice adventure and experience for the “schedule.” Train your child, do your best, but have fun!

Okay, any advice from someone who’s not a newbie?