The Struggle for God

It seems like I’m the only one that deals with it…

I’m a pastor…

I preach.
I do funerals.
I do weddings.
I visit hospitals.
I have a good grasp of scripture.
I pray for people.
I fight the Enemy daily.

But I still struggle to find God some days.
I still struggle to see His hand in mine. 

Maybe I’m alone in the struggle.
Maybe other people have miraculous encounters every day and feel and notice His presence every second of every day.
Maybe other people have a better connection.
Maybe other people try even harder.

Or, maybe there are other people in my same boat.

Some days, I get up and have a great time with God. It’s obvious he’s with me.
He speaks to me in a real way.
I leave rejuvenated, changed, joyful, and motivated.

But other times…

I spend time with him and he doesn’t seem to show up.
I hurry to get through the time because I feel so lost.

Sometimes, the struggle for God seems desperate and hardly worth it.
After all, He would never disown me.
Maybe it’s not worth the struggle to grow in him.

But sometimes, He comes to me and makes me KNOW that it is worth the struggle.
Occasionally, it makes sense that I have to struggle because, when I do see His glory, it changes things…

It changes me.

If you’re in a struggle for God, know that He’s as present as He has ever been.

Just keep struggling.
A glimpse of your Creator is worth it!

Do you find yourself there today? Have any encouragement for those that are? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

[Need more encouragement? I wrote 4 reasons you shouldn’t quit here.]

13 Comments

  1. Bob Balkcom

    Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. I’ve recently been given, I think (because I’m not this original) an ear to hear Him in some areas of my life. I am experiencing a very personal guiding and teaching that only our Father can do.
    But like I said, I know what you’re talking about because there have been extended times of a seeming disconnect.
    I think trust plays a huge part (as it always does). Trust that He knows absolutely everything we need including correction and growth.

    Reply
  2. This happens to me as well. Somedays it is so clear He is here and circumstances that can only be because of Him. And then others He seems so silent. For me listing and counting each blessing has been a tremendous help in reminding myself that He is working even when I can’t see it.

    Reply
  3. I was so happy to read this. I talk to God all day every day. I can talk to anything, animals, trees. even stars– and I know I’m talking to God. God is in everything and he is always with me. He is like my imaginary friend. The Mormons call this the “still small voice” also known as the “holy spirit”. I am so glad that you talk to God to. I also have this struggle that you do have, but God keeps talking to me. I think its a calling, maybe, i have a destiny similar to yours. Love you. Send regards to your family. Love, Caroline S~*

    Reply
  4. Part of me wants to try. But I just can’t summon much interest in a God who plays hide and seek. Twice in my life I’ve thought I found God, only to be disappointed. I’m fast approaching a point where I’m calling it quits on my search.

    Reply
    1. Don’t do that. I don’t see it as hide and seek. In fact, I think it’s anything but. God never hides. He does, though, love me so much he’s willing to sit back and let me live and learn (like any good father). It’s in those times that I’m most desperate that I seek him the most and find him the greatest. Love and dedication without choice on my part wouldn’t be love and dedication to him at all. He has to let me choose to seek him.

      Please don’t give up. I see him and his actions around everywhere.

      Reply
  5. This is probably one of my favorite posts from you. I love your transparency.

    Here’s a little transparency for you –

    You’re probably one of the select few people on Twitter that I actually look up to and sometimes ‘envy.’ I use that term loosely. You seem to have your life together. So, to see this post admitting your struggling – it makes me feel less alone in mine.

    Thank you for your honesty. :)

    Reply
    1. Haha. It’s crazy the way we see people online. I can promise that I have plenty of imperfections to make you feel better. :-) Thanks though. Honored to connect with you here and on millennial leader. Appreciate you!

      Reply
  6. I struggle daily, but I’m part of the problem as well. I’m working on it, with God’s grace and mercy. As Paul said in Romans 7:15, For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

    Reply
  7. I love Mark Batterson’s book on this subject – Wild Goose Chase. He talks about how God (the wild goose – an ancient Celtic term for the Holy Spirit) stays just out of reach sometimes so that we don’t give up the chase to find Him. And He loves to be found by us.

    Reply
  8. Christie Collins

    Thank you, this is very humbling and honest of you.

    I am struggling to go to God because I am struggling to know him right now. I’m praying against pride and praying in the spirit because i’m not sure what else to “do” so i’m just going to “be”.

    Reply

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