Using People or Loving People

No matter what we’re leading…

A church
A family
An organization
A business
A classroom
An office

Loving people is always more effective long term than using people.

Sure, it’s easy to manipulate and convince people to move in a certain direction or do a certain thing the way you want it done… for a while.

But eventually, the motivation used by manipulation runs it’s course.
In other words, a leader can only manipulate someone to do something (do it well) for so long.

Love on the other hand,
When flowing from a genuine care for the people you’re leading,
Never runs it’s course.

People will always be motivated and will always feel more appreciated if they feel our genuine love.

Sure, there may be bumps in the road,
You still may have to have the tough conversations.


When they’re done in and through love, they will lead to a renewed motivation for the follower.

No matter what you’re leading today, use love as the motivator, not manipulation.

After all, if you’re manipulating, you’re really not leading, you’re dragging.

People eventually figure out you’re dragging them and will abandon you.

Love leads, manipulation drags.

Choose to love, not use.


  1. Jack

    I hate when my boss, knowing I’m busy, asks who we can get to do this project that only I can do without three hours of explanation to someone. Just ask me when I can get it done; stop guilting or playing stupid.

    I know this scenario isn’t necessarily love vs manipulation, but it’s at least respect vs manipulation. Manipulation is never welcome.

  2. Jonathan, enjoyed reading this and serves as a good reminder. Great leaders inspire and motivate out of care and compassion for those they are leading. As a husband and father, servant leadership should always be the motto. I have failed at doing this many times, and sometimes my kids don’t understand it, but I do what I do because I love them so much.
    Great piece. Nice work.

  3. Jed

    Thanks for this Jonathan. You’re the man! I’ve been through this. You’re not only a great influence but a great treasure to keep. To God be the glory!


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