How to Destroy A Relationship

It’s no secret that relationships of any kind require a lot of time, work, and communication.

The element of a any relationship that often gets over-looked is selflessness.

Selfishness has ruined a lot of relationships.

In fact, the relationships that I have seen ended have all been because both parties consistently practiced selfishness.

Selfishness, while it encompases a lot of different elements, can be summed up in just a few words…

Selfishness occurs when we think of ourselves before others.

In relationships, this means we…

  • Refuse to deal with problems that arise because we’re afraid of conflict.
  • Refuse to initiate conversation because we feel like we’re always the ones that do.
  • Choose to quit giving because we feel like we’re not getting enough.
  • Refuse to make compromises because we’re set in our ways.

I know that the above is much easier to type than to practice.

However, while we’ll never perfect selflessness (we are born that way),
we can start by making a conscience effort to give much more than we take.

What is one way that we can practice selflessness in our relationships?
Please share!


  1. Choosing self interest over others will make us losers everytime. I think a good antidote is:

    “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

    Good Post bro’

  2. Dawn Meyers

    Have lived long enough to see the validity of this post in my own life. Watched one marriage go down in flames due to many things, mainly selfishness on both our parts.

    Thank you, God for giving me a 2nd chance to get it right.

    One way to practice this in our relationships is to actively choose to love our spouses in the most meaningful way to them. Find out what makes them feel most loved and commit to doing that regularly!!!

  3. I’m certainly not an expert. However, I think that’s a situation when we can’t be afraid of conflict and have to approach the other person and let them know that we feel like we are the only ones that bring up the hard stuff. I don’t think that we should ever quit giving though. That’s certainly modeled by Jesus throughout the NT. He loved and gave when others didn’t give back. Great question! Maybe someone else will respond and answer that too.

  4. Selfishness so often stems from pride. And this post was very convicting. I’m guilty of every one of your points. What a buzz kill.

    (Only kidding–thanks for the great post.)

  5. This is so true! I think we especially see how selfish we are in our marriages. There’s nothing like sharing every day of your life with someone else to show you how much you think of yourself. Thanks for reminding us how important it is put others first in these practical ways.


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